Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Who Have I Become?

I went to the grocery store today wearing a mask my cousin made for me, hands in gloves, sanitizer wipes that I made myself. I wiped the grocery cart down, took out my list and went as fast as I could to gather the necessary things. In the toilet paper aisle, I was surprised to see toilet paper I almost didn’t recognize it. As I went to put one of them in my cart a friend came along wearing a mask I barely recognized him. We said hello and smiled underneath our masks. He came towards me to put his arm around my shoulder and I literally jumped back. I don’t know if I was more surprised by him crossing the 6 feet social distancing barrier or by my reaction of jumping back. In February I was a  hugger yet several weeks later I am a jumper. We talked a bit and went our separate ways to continue shopping. My eyes welled up I have changed my natural reaction was no longer the same.

Who have I become without even knowing it?

 

Comments

17 responses to “Who Have I Become?”

  1. Marilyn

    Yes, I feel bad when I jump back. I just want to hug everyone these days. Sending virtual hugs!

    Reply
  2. Nikki Maxwell

    You are exactly the beautiful, delightful, most giving and honest girl that you always have been.
    You’ll slot right back in when that time comes.
    This too shall pass .
    Je t’embrasse chick.

    Reply
  3. Kathie B

    You’re someone who loves your mother and son so much that you wouldn’t want to risk bringing the Coronavirus home to them. It’s going to need to be like this until an effective vaccine against Covid-19 has been developed, approved and administered widely.

    Reply
  4. Jeanne

    God bless us all during these times.
    My husband has been the one venturing out for essentials only
    May God protect us all
    I love you
    Praying for us all
    Love Jeanne

    Reply
  5. g

    i had almost the same exact experience yesterday picking up medicine from 2 pharmacies -cannot read facial expressions behind masks and apprehensive body language – i don’t like this world – only time and history will give proper perspective –

    Reply
  6. RebeccaNYC

    I recently ran into one of my favorite neighbors waiting for the elevator. Normally we exchange a hug, but now we can’t even share the elevator. It was the first time I actually cried during this pandemic.

    Reply
  7. isabel

    Corey, you’ve become conscious of the risks of getting too physically close to other people and that risk goes both ways. So you’re protecting others when you jump back, as well as yourself. This isn’t a thing about loving less. If anything it’s about loving more. Now we love with our eyes, our words, and of course our actions.

    Reply
  8. Lil

    I think you’ll be yourself and a hugger again once this has passed. I worry about children. We passed a mom and two little children on the hiking trail yesterday and the children were clearly afraid and backing away from us as we passed. Felt very odd to be perceived as dangerous even though I waved and tried to look friendly.

    Reply
  9. Vicki Perkins

    My niece is a nurse at a children’s hospital. Children want and need to be hugged and nurses want to hug them, but can’t they teach the hi,Daren when. They are admitted that instead of hugs the nurse places her right hand over her heart and pats which means they are sending love and hugs and the children send patting hugs back. Not perfect but is a compromise..my friends have begun to say they are patting their hearts when they say goodbye on the phone.

    Reply
  10. Leslie in Oregon

    As long as you continue to ask questions like this and think about the answer/s, you are the same person inside, dear Corey. I share the feelings you describe; not being able to hug (or, in most cases, even encounter in person) the people I care for, or to see the faces of anyone I see in real life, changes everything for me. Thinking of you and your family in Willows and in France, Leslie

    Reply
  11. Kathie B

    Isabel has the Quote Of The Day! “This isn’t a thing about loving less. If anything it’s about loving more.”

    Reply
  12. Patti Ann Lloyd

    This has changed us all in many ways. Let’s believe the goodness and love will abide.

    Reply
  13. Ann of Avondale

    We are changed by this pandemic. I feel more anxious about everything since there is so much uncertainty. Also, I absolute do not like that I smile less and carry this worried look on my face (under my mask). I have to repeat my affirmation every morning, “Today I will be joyful”, “Today I will be funny”, “Today I will be employed.” It is a struggle for me to stay positive but I am working on it. {hugs}

    Reply
  14. jackie

    I’ve become a crabby crank. I barked at a guy behind me (in a grocery line) who got too close. Then I realized he had scrubs on. Probably front line worker? Que the guilt. Another time, also in a grocery line, a lady kept breaking the line to come up to the person next to (self-checkout registers.) I said, firmly, “Social distancing, social distancing!” She looked at me and said “Well that’s my sister.” and I said, “But I’M not! I felt awful, like mean girl. I really feel myself losing patience with people who don’t take it seriously (all those with no masks, no gloves and not respecting social distancing,) and the stupid-who cut line to be with their sister. Then I feel guilty because I’m sure I’ve inadvertently done something too. I think I’ll get a tee shirt that says “I’m sorry” on the front and on the back too.

    Reply
  15. Shelley Noble

    A survivor. Hugging isn’t smart, certainly not at the moment.

    Reply
  16. Jan C.

    It all seems so unreal… this past year has been so difficult, with many health
    problems for my husband and myself… seems hard to comprehend it all… am learning
    to take it one day at a time and trying to be patient and be thankful for what we
    do have… and praying more for we all have a lot to deal with…..

    Reply
  17. Diogenes

    A temporary change…all rational people realize you are caring about their safety as well as your own. Virtual hugs from LA.

    Reply

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