Over the last few years, Yann and I toyed with the idea of my coming over to California to spend a few months with my mom while she was/is in good health. Yann and I wonder what the best time was, and like things that are not urgent, it was pushed back to let's wait and see maybe next spring, or after the baby is born, or maybe after this project or after we do this or that… and then my brother found out he had cancer earlier this year and I came home as soon as I could planning to stay a few weeks to see if I could help out and then Covid 19 came along, such a game-changer which prolonged my stay giving me the incredible moment of extended time to share with my mother.
A blessing in disguise.
Since I married and moved to France I have come back to California to visit my family every year for a few weeks. At first, I came alone, then with the birth of each of our two children, we never missed a year and sometimes coming twice in a year. It was a commitment Yann and I made when we married, I would move to France but I would come back to visit my family every year and when we had children they would come too we kept to it no matter the cost nor what was going on in our lives. It wasn't easy at times, but we managed to make it work. As our children grew and became adults they started to come to visit my family on their own which meant I had succeeded in giving them the opportunity to know my family as deeply as if we lived here.
(My childhood room)
So here I am. With my mom in her home that I have known since I was a child, it has been three months. Now I must toy with the idea of when to go home. I flew over with Luftansa their flights have been grounded since March, nonetheless, I learned today that their flights will restart in June I am told.
My mother and I have spent our day tending the house, the garden, cooking, watching old movies, and observing the ever-changing fields around the house. Spending our time at home as many are doing to be safe for ourselves and others has removed the commitments, routines, and expectations that have given way to abundant time to simply be together which I have loved. A mighty blessing.
What I have learned is that my mother and I are similar but very different from one another. I have known this since I was a child. But being together as we have I see our differences not as a problem but more out of curiosity. How did I grow up so different from my mom? She is structured where I am spontaneous, she is a rule follower except for card playing. My mom follows a recipe to the grain of salt never altering what a recipe calls for, I cannot follow a recipe (I like to make them up), and if I must follow a recipe I usually change it ten times over. When we were working on puzzles she sees the puzzle by their shapes where I see the pieces of a puzzle by color. My mom prays the rosary I pray in silence. My mom can keep a secret, um… I cannot. My mom leads her life according to her faith, her God, the sees the good in people. I do too after I look around the corner, question, and maybe change directions here and there. I admire my mother's qualities especially because I lack them… Especially her courage to face anything through the lens of faith and goodness.
My mother is comfortable in her skin a rare gift these days for older women it seems, she is generous in her day to day life with others, and doesn't doubt who she is she is:
A woman of faith and goodness.
I am fortunate to have this time with my mom. To be alone with her. To sit through days just being together watching re-runs of Gunsmoke and Jeopardy.
Happy Mother's Day to my beautiful graceful firecracker Mother!
xxx
Also Happy First Mother's Day dear darling Chelsea
xxx
Tell me about your mother.
Leave a Reply