What is Going On Today

Wreath

 

Maybe it is because nobody has come into our home since mid-March, 

Maybe it is because it is very hot today,

Maybe it is because I tossed and turned most the night,

Maybe it is because I am missing the owl's nightly mantra,

Maybe it is because I run a small part of my walking path for the first time,

Maybe it is because I am wondering about the brocante.

 

 

 

Reflection of things

 

Maybe it is because I pruned the tomato plants as Mr. Port taught me years ago,

Maybe it is because my Mom's windows need to be washed,

Maybe it is because I just finished reading Michelle Obama's Becoming,

Maybe it is because I know this sacred time with my mom will end,

Maybe it is because Yann has seen many of our friends and he isn't as careful as I would want him to be,

 

 

French reflections

 

Maybe it is because I watched too many old movies and collected far too many old papers that have a romantic bent,

Maybe it is because I miss Cassis,

Maybe it is because my friends ask me what I think and I answer with what I feel,

Maybe it is because I wish the ocean was closer,

Maybe because Gabriel is growing bigger and is so adorable I want to squeeze him,

 

 

Lace and pink ribbons

 

Maybe it is because I miss old beauties,

Maybe it is because my hair is nearly all-white,

Maybe it is because Sacha returned to Seattle a few days ago,

Maybe because my brother is doing as best as he can and Chemo is so awful to endure,

 

 

Soft

Maybe it is because I am wired this way, which is to say I am a marshmallow at heart

with a healthy pinch of lemon tart.

What is my mood today? Ho Hum just letting thoughts come and go and wondering what I can do to make the world, or maybe just around the corner, a safer, happier, peaceful place

 

What is your mood lately?



Comments

23 responses to “What is Going On Today”

  1. Diogenes

    It varies from trying to be patient to being cautious and melancholy. I’ve now discovered that eating whatever I want has consequences.
    White hair is good. Becoming is good. The sirens of brocante are calling you and telling you they’ll wait. Maybe lower brocante prices in your future.

  2. It is a crazy up and down time. The first half of the isolation I had so much dizziness and my blood pressure was all over the place. Also bad dreams, but still continue. After I realized the panic I felt over the virus I have been able to better control my panic and so no dizziness. It is a crazy time. Hoping you can soon go home. Now that Sacha has left I bet you are wanting to be with your French family even more.

  3. My mood is good…today anyway. Work can be stressful. I’m a Certified Nursing Assistant. But I’ve got a man who loves me in my life. And that makes all the difference in the world. He’s in California. And I’m in WI. But we skype and call and email….not giving up on convincing my Dad Wally is a good guy. And that age doesn’t matter when your in love. Age doesn’t matter anymore than skin color or anything else. And love conquers ALL! I’m feeling very optimistic.

  4. What I feel today is not fear,but sadness. I think most of us just need a really long, wordless,group hug with our family and other loved ones,and yet, that is the one heart’s desire we cannotfor the moment fulfill.For the time being,social distancing is an act of love.

  5. Upbeat and happy. The U.S is opening up. Risk is part of life. Celebrate each day you are given and still respect others fear and wear your mask when you have to.

  6. What you said here has resonated
    “Maybe it is because my friends ask me what I think and I answer with what I feel,”
    I feel that Covid has been a cosmic time-out and am hoping the time it gave us for introspection will result in positive changes in ourselves and the world around us.

  7. Charland

    Lots of what ifs.

  8. I love your phrase ‘marshmallow with a pinch of lemon tart.’
    With this hotter CA weather I too am wishing to be closer to the ocean.
    Did Sacha feel the need to get on with his life in Seattle? My son chose to stay at his apartment in Seattle even though he could have come home. I think it’s for the best. He’s 23 but kind of too grown up to be back here with mom and dad for any length of time.
    We’re staying close to home and trying to enjoy this slow time. This too shall pass.

  9. Paula Tyner

    Sending hugs.

  10. Barbara J Blizzard

    A little joy today for me as I get to see my 2020 graduating granddaughter to deliver a small gift and some fabric so she and her friend can make matching masks for their pseudo graduation in June. They will get to drive through the front area of their high school with their immediate family and get out of the car to walk across the front entrance of the school to receive their diploma. A photographer will be taking pictures to share with everyone else. Not what they had all hoped for but the best that can be worked out so they are decorating their caps and making the most of it. Much love to you and thank you for all the peace that you bring to us.

  11. feel or rather what I think today and also day after day….will now the world really change for better?

  12. I hope the last part is true 🙂

  13. That is so true!! Sacha’s leaving left a hole.

  14. Have you met this man in person? How did you meet him? You have mentioned him before so I am curious!

  15. Yes calculated risk. Getting on the plane when it is allowed to leave the USA to France will be my “opening up”!

  16. It was wonderful to have Sacha here. It was a gift I needed xxx

  17. Congratulations to your Granddaugther !!

  18. fingers crossed

  19. How do you feel? It ranges from reasonably good spirited to sad to exhausted. Keeping busy and accomplishing tasks seems to keep me focused on things at hand. This helps. I do miss my friends and larger family. Zoom is good but does not replace the normal gatherings previously enjoyed. I do not have answers. I remind myself, everybody probably experiences the same. Until we have a vaccine there will be risk and precautions that must be taken. Take one day at a time. Wipe the slate clean. Start fresh each new day. I must say, I am taking great joy in seeing my irises bloom and my peony trees emerge with new growth and flowers.

  20. Haven’t met him in person yet. LOL But I know his whole life story. He LOVES to talk, which is a good thing because I’m very quiet. I met him on Ave Maria Singles online. He is VERY different. He might have autism. But I’m okay with that. He’s the most innocent man I’ve ever met. He was married before and his father-in-law tried to kill him by poisoning him with anthrax; and he almost died. His wife’s family was extremely abusive and violent. This info was kept from him until after they were married. So he was able to get an annullment. I can’t believe the suffering he’s been through. His whole life has been hard. Really hard. We both think that’s why we didn’t meet until now. Because we both had to go through a lot of suffering to be ready for each other. I don’t think someone who hasn’t suffered like crazy would be right for me or understand my suffering. Because I have schizophrenia. We’re perfect for each other. And we both really love each other.

  21. I am such an introvert and have been so intent on getting a novel ready to be submitted that the first months of staying at home truly weren’t that difficult. We had Zoom reunions with family, and I saw relatives I haven’t seen in a while. I can jog in the early morning on our empty streets, wearing a mask because people here do not respect social distancing. My husband and I, married 50 years, laugh at our hairdos and know neither will have hurt feelings. Then it fell apart. My husband injured his back and is not getting better. Shortly afterward, our sixteen-year-old granddaughter, born with a metabolic disorder, collapsed at home, fractured her skull (five-inch fracture), fractured her temporal bone (multiple fractures), and had a brain bleed. By the time she got to the hospital, she was having seizures, stopping breathing, and having multiple episodes of bradycardia. They intubated her. They loaded her up to be life-flighted downtown, but the weather grounded her helicopter. Through a long day of waiting for a window, all helicopter flights were grounded about seven hours after her original injury. The major hospital where all her specialists are sent a specialized ground transport to pick her up. We could communicate only by text. Her sister–who’d had to run down the street to get a 911 signal that day–and her stepfather were all camped out in the first hospital’s parking lot, not allowed to even go in and we, of course, wouldn’t have been allowed to go in, either. This child has already defied so many odds–she wasn’t expected to live past two or even sit up and she’s in advanced classes, made her school’s dance squad, etc.–and she did it again. She was off the ventilator in the wee hours of that next morning, walking that day and home two days later. Her cardiologist diagnosed her with the rather benign condition, orthostatic hypotension, which caused the original collapse. Her hypotonia and inability to recognize she’s falling–she’s had years of therapy to recognize visual clues that she is and learn to put out her hands but she had fainted and did not recognize those signals, either–led to worse injury than most have after fainting. She keeled over backwards while most instinctively curl up, her doctors said. She’s tired, irritable, with some short-term memory loss that’s getting better, but it knocked the wind out of my sails. It’s hard to think my little book is all that important any longer. It’s harder to escape the horrors of the world right now, even when I turn off the news. However, I am again beginning to be cheered by the birdsong in the morning when the dog and I jog. I’m beginning to swoon into good music again. I’m trying. It will take a while, but we older ones do learn resilience. For now, I still chastise myself for not being appropriately thrilled and grateful.

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