In January my brother Marty discovered he had stage four
pancreatic cancer that has metastasized to his liver.
Since then has endured the severity of his illness.
How does one hold the unbearable weight of such a prognosis?
How does one maneuver their days with cancer or
with a life-threatening illness waving in front of them?
The gift of suffering can be the song of solemn awareness that comes to our lips,
hearts, touch, sight, perspective.
Though, understandably it is not a gift we desire nor seek
Suffering peels back a layer offering us away
to be present to one another that most things do not.
When someone is ill, I tend to pray more for them,
if near them touch them, feel/see them differently,
as if our time together is not caught up in what we are doing,
but of who we are.
Suffering has a way of breaking us to the core of realness.
that I find beautiful, even if painful.
It is a gift to tend to the ill, the weak
and not run away from it.
Beautiful as it brings the rawness the fragility of life
to the center stage.
If only I could stand on that stage without the
the reality of pain and suffering.
To be deeply aware of life
present to its calling.
And yet my brother like so many of your loved ones is suffering.
Is in need of healing.
Being far away is a lesson we are facing during Covid.
Suffering is the pits in its hardcore slap of reality.
In the destruction, the change, the unknown path…
There are often two sides to the truth even, suffering.
How I wish this were not true.
I often imagine the *prayers being sent, imagining them floating
above my brother waiting to be placed on the area where he needs the most healing.
Believing that to be true I hear myself saying at times,
"May the prayers being said today bring healing peace to my Marty's cancer."
Then I sense the prayers streaming in towards his body.
Thank you for your prayers, love, concern, and good thoughts.
My brother is in need of a miracle, he is back in the hospital.
xxx
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