For over a year I faithfully walked five miles or more every day as a prayer for my brother.
I walked in rain, heat, at night, early in the morning, during curfew in a circle in our courtyard…
I did it no matter what and in the back of my mind, I would think if my brother has to suffer for no reason every day with terminal cancer
I certainly can walk every day as a prayer.
But since his parting, I have felt a change in my steps
Not as fast
nor determine
less mindful
each step is just another step-
blah
I walk but it doesn't feel the same
and I am not motivated.
Grief hits in unexpected places.
I was walking for my brother and I could be walking for him now but it isn't with the same intention.
And it doesn't feel right to have another intention just yet.
So I walk and one day the grief will trail behind.
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