Our memories
that go back to childhood and have continued throughout our lives
so many of them that some have slipped into that space that holds our roots,
waters the essences of who we are but no longer conjure up words to describe nor tell our story
they rest inside having become our foundation.
That foundation is strong even if now when at times
you cannot find your words
or your laughter … oh that easy laugh of yours
or give me some buddha reflections
or talk about movies, music, or where you are going to travel to
next, now that you have retired and after covid… even if when I told you Chelsea
was having another baby and you replied, "Another?" as if to say that you did not know there was another one
called Gabriel who you adore.
You are here but not here
in your body, mind, and heart
oh that body that scuba diving, swimmer, boogie board body has changed.
You woke up from an aneurism, or did you?
Unbelievable to imagine so I don't
though tears fall writing this
damn do I miss everything about you.
You are here, I believe that you know what is happening and cannot express yourself as you would
and that might feel as if you are Johnny in Johnny Got His Gun.
That you are locked inside that beautiful mind of yours on the other side of the world in the depths of the sea.
Swim, Julie in the deep sea within you,
swim feel it as you did freeing and beautiful,
and I will stand here on the surface waiting for you to come up and grab your hand.
The Egyptian's perfume, bird feathers, the peaches on the tree, the wind in our hair as we raced down the lane,
that life we lived together is the connection that will not be broken.
You are here and I am with you
as our Vavie said,
Spiritual love is more powerful than physical love.
So here we are in a physical world learning to lap into the spiritual realm.
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