My Cousin Julie

 

Our memories 

that go back to childhood and have continued throughout our lives

so many of them that some have slipped into that space that holds our roots,

waters the essences of who we are but no longer conjure up words to describe nor tell our story

they rest inside having become our foundation. 

That foundation is strong even if now when at times

 you cannot find your words

or your laughter … oh that easy laugh of yours

or give me some buddha reflections

or talk about movies, music, or where you are going to travel to 

next, now that you have retired and after covid… even if when I told you Chelsea

was having another baby and you replied, "Another?" as if to say that you did not know there was another one

called Gabriel who you adore.

 

You are here but not here

in your body, mind, and heart

 oh that body that scuba diving, swimmer, boogie board body has changed.

 

You woke up from an aneurism, or did you?

Unbelievable to imagine so I don't

though tears fall writing this

damn do I miss everything about you.

You are here, I believe that you know what is happening and cannot express yourself as you would

and that might feel as if you are Johnny in Johnny Got His Gun.

That you are locked inside that beautiful mind of yours on the other side of the world in the depths of the sea.

Swim, Julie in the deep sea within you,

swim feel it as you did freeing and beautiful,

and I will stand here on the surface waiting for you to come up and grab your hand.

 

The Egyptian's perfume, bird feathers, the peaches on the tree, the wind in our hair as we raced down the lane,

that life we lived together is the connection that will not be broken.

You are here and I am with you 

as our Vavie said,

Spiritual love is more powerful than physical love.

So here we are in a physical world learning to lap into the spiritual realm.

 

 

 

 



Comments

23 responses to “My Cousin Julie”

  1. Ed Schnurbusch

    I truly believe you are right. Julie is in there fighting to reach the surface and she will. She is strong willed and I believe she will come through this.

  2. This is a beautiful post! As a CNA I have patients who have dementia. I’m familiar with what it’s like when someone no longer has their mind. It’s so hard for them. Sometimes my patients cry when they can’t think of the words they want to say. Or because they want to leave the nursing home and go home. But they can’t because they’ve had a stroke. Suddenly a lifetime of independence is ripped away. This is VERY hard for men. It’s hard for anyone. But a lot of men are like John Wayne. Can you imagine John Wayne letting a female CNA wipe poop off his butt? LOL It’s really hard for men to be in that situation. My heart goes out to you and Julie! Hang in there!

  3. Thank you Corey, for capturing the essence of Julie. The image of the two of you riding down the lane………💔

  4. Martina

    That was so beautiful. Julie is still there. Her brain is healing and waking up ever so slowly. She won’t be the exact same person she was pre-aneurysm, but she will return and her eyes will twinkle and she will smile when she sees her family in person or via phone.❤️🙏🏻

  5. Annette (Toni) Mason

    I can just say Amen

  6. Your postings move me to tears.
    Prayers for everyone.
    You should one day write a book my darling one
    it would be a NY Times best seller immediately.
    Sending love hugs and prayers for all
    Love Jeanne

  7. Diogenes

    Beautifully written. Wishing your Julie will swim to shore.

  8. Kathy Woods

    Beautifully written Corey – so heartfelt

  9. BeckyFar

    Oh Corey, I can so feel what you and her family are going through.
    My sister, Mary had an cerebral aneurysm that ruptured when she was 14. (1975) She is turning 60 this year.
    She was in a coma and as time passed and she was medically stable the Drs sent her home with a feeding tube to be cared for by my parents since
    they felt she would not progress past this minimally responsible state.
    My mother read about a new rehab MD that had moved to our city. She personally contacted him and he came to our house to evaluate her.
    He admitted her to the rehab unit he was starting.
    After 6 months of intense physical, occupational and speech therapy my sister began to wake up. She had to relearn how to communicate, first through sign language and then was finally able to verbalize. The first word she said was, “home”. Though she has right sided paralysis, cognitively she is fine.
    She says remembers everything that happened but was unable communicate
    So I am holding hope that Julie will wake up and heal.
    Sending hugs, love and lots of prayers.

  10. Keeping both you and Julie in my thoughts and prayers, Corey. Sending love…

  11. Ella in Nice

    Chère Corey,
    Continue to talk to Julie, remind her of all of your memories and future plans; the power of positive prayer, spoken out loud.
    We will say a prayer and light a candle for Julie today at Holy Trinity.
    Take care and come see us at the brocante, any Monday, on Course Saleya.
    Bon dimanche,
    Ella

  12. “…That life we lived together is a connection that will not be broken.
    You are here and I am with you…”
    This is your prayer, my dear friend.
    xo,
    j-

  13. Jacquelyn Lynn

    Dear Corey,
    This is your most beautiful writing yet.
    I wept reading it in the early hours of this morning, on my cell so you will know, it is your blog that i cling to.
    I must call my cousin who I have not spoken with in twenty years. Yet the early memories of long summer days are right there with her, I can catch the scent of the lawn we sat on while being “cousins”, such a bond. Thank you.
    With continuing thoughts and prayers for your beloved Julie, and for you
    Sincerely, Jacque Lynn

  14. My sincerest condolences, Corey.
    May her memory be eternal.

  15. Your words always touch my heart.
    Thank you for sharing your sadness and joys.
    May your Julie find peace and walk through this time knowing she is loved.

  16. Lorraine Oh

    Oh Corey, how beautifully you portray your love for Julie!

  17. RebeccaNYC

    Always sending you love

  18. Angela Vular

    I hope someone is reading your words to her. I believe she can hear you. Keep sending your words to someone back home who can share them with her. I can see her swimming in calm waters, resting, healing, and gathering strength to return. She is in my thoughts and prayers.

  19. Jennifer Phillipps

    I hope Julie will reach through the fog and find her way back to the surface in due course, for now I send my best wishes to all of you….your message is heart wrenching but it does make one think about every moment! J

  20. jend’isère

    Through the dark sapphire sea, the clear aquamarine waves are filled with love at the surface. We are awaiting continued shared stories as you heal, Julie.

  21. xo

  22. Leslie in Oregon

    Praying for Julie’s healing and both of your hearts🙏

  23. Cory. I just came across this post. I missed what happened to your cousin Julie. I just said a prayer for her.

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