The path that feels so strong, so secure under my feet, I do not take for granted.
I know how life can change, as quickly as the crack of thunder, or the breaking of a wave.
Nobody knows the future.
Though those who have the amazing fortune of health, and well-being on their side,
seem to have an easier time balancing the thunder and waves that do come.
It takes courage to face the unknown.
Some have faith on their side. Some have grace. Some have family and friends.
Some have it all.
Most have sanity.
I am beginning to think that without it,
no matter what is present (faith, grace, family, or friends)
it can be a darker battleground, the thing called life.
Even my saddest days are nothing compared to those who suffer depression, or mental anxiety.
Nevertheless, heavy days feel heavy for all of us.
Thankfully, I can put the heaviness down and stare at it, and walk away.
I am sorry that I am speaking of such seriousness…
for many of you, my blog is a "happy place".
I write my blog as a way to help me focus on what is good
though today and other days in the last several months
I have had to stop what I am doing to find my balance, my "happy place"
Feeling aware of the fragility of life
is tenderly heavy to hold.
Today I felt unmotivated, off-kilter, sleepwalking
Thankfully, blogging, or keeping a journal, helps me tremendously.
And as it is when one can stop and be in the moment,
even forgetting that one is stopping and being in the moment,
a new rhythm gives way to our steps… call it grace, call it peace, call it a pipeline to an inner voice.
Stillness allows space
and space gives room to let it pour out.
Later in the day-
As I was sitting back on our sofa Gabriel climbed up into my lap, took my face in his hands, and kissed me, then opened my eyelids with his little chubby hands, slid down off my lap grabbed my hands, and said, "Come O E (my name has changed from I E to O E) ."
I didn't bother to ask where I just followed him to a pile of books and read stories.
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