Stories Collected While Living in France

French la Vie

Julie’s Birthday / Hospice Care

grief has a roadmap of its own

my heart has traveled that tumultuous path

more than once

and it is markably the same with its

unexpected turns

going into the jungle

of memories and regrets

uprooting what 

was paved with worn steps 

with echoing voices of why and ifs

and how can this be?

 

my cousin Julie who I have known throughout my life

and lives in my inner circle, my hard drive, my cheerleader, holding a chunk of my heart

is in hospice care,

today is her birthday.

Life without her will be strange, the ground beneath me a watery mire

sloshing as I go

until

the scent of spring whispers 

here we are.

oh Julie danm you for going ahead of me.

 

 

Comments

27 responses to “Julie’s Birthday / Hospice Care”

  1. Jeanne

    I send Julie healing hugs and I am sorry to read she is now in hospice.
    I send my love and prayers to you all.
    God’s blessings
    Love Jeanne

    Reply
  2. Lil

    I’m sorry Corey. Very sad.

    Reply
  3. RebeccaNYC

    oh Corey. I am so sorry to read this news. Sending you love always. Peace to Julie as she approaches humanity’s biggest mystery and Christianity’s greatest promise.

    Reply
  4. Melly

    Wishing Julie constant whispers of peace and comfort as she transitions into the infinite.
    The same for you dear Corey, peace and comfort as the inevitable and profound heartache of losing a beloved, hovers over you.

    Reply
  5. BeckyFar

    So sorry to hear this Corey.
    May she and all that have loved her be surrounded in peace.

    Reply
  6. Marilyn

    Oh so sorry to hear this. It is not easy some days is it?
    Hugs of comfort to you!

    Reply
  7. Julie Schaefer

    Oh, Corey, loss is hard and it is sad, but in the end what choice do we have but to continue to say “yes” to life? We are at an age where our mortality is very real and imminent, and our friends and family start falling ill, live with illness or die from it, and it could be you or I tomorrow. Live well each day, I say, and that’s not easy. It’s a deliberate choice. We make our peace with imminent death, and then live until we die.

    Reply
  8. Susan in Zurich

    I echo what others have said, it’s so very sad, so hard to walk through grief, to try to imagine a world without your beloved cousin. I’m sorry. I add my prayers to all who are lifting up Julie. And you and your family.

    Reply
  9. Michele K. Waite

    Corey dearheart, I am so very, very sorry. Love to you and smooth traveling to Julie.

    Reply
  10. Diogenes

    Dear Corey, thinking of you always and hoping you can find some solace. Hugs.

    Reply
  11. Paula

    So vey sorry to hear this sad news Corey, thinking of you and praying for Julie

    Reply
  12. Shirley

    I have never commented before, but I feel compelled to say that you write beautifully, Corey, and express the hardest of sentiments in the most poignant way. And to Julie Schaefer, who wrote these words in her comment “Live well each day, I say, and that’s not easy. It’s a deliberate choice. We make our peace with imminent death, and then live until we die”… I think those few simple words are the most beautiful I have ever read about how to approach life and death. Thank you.

    Reply
  13. Jennifer Phillipps

    Everyone has said what I would wish to say to you, peace be with Julie and comfort for her loved ones and for you far away from her and remembering all those good memories. Take care…xx Jennie

    Reply
  14. jackie

    I reiterate the words of everyone who’s already written. You are balancing grief and gladness, not always in equal measure. I think of you all the time, wishing I could be there to comfort.
    j-

    Reply
  15. TracyH

    I’m so sorry Corey.

    Reply
  16. Judith Bryant

    That’s exactly what I think/ say to my beloved older sister. When I stayed with her during the last weeks of her life, I desperately tried to hold her back. “I thought we agreed that the Bryant women’s expiration date was about 80! Can’t you aim for 80?” Already impatient to leave, she gazed at me with wide, uncomprehending eyes…and I realized that for the very first time nothing I might say or do could swerve her from her path. I miss her every day. Have to acknowledge, though, that grandchildren are a powerful pull down new, unknown paths.

    Reply
  17. Teddee Grace

    So sorry to read this, Corey. You have had much grief in your life recently. Just know she’ll be there to greet you on the other side and try to gain solace from the beautiful experiences you have had together.

    Reply
  18. VirginiaD

    Corey, I echo the others, especially Shirley and Judith. I’m going through this now with a loved one, it’s so hard. Thank you for finding the words…my prayers for your Julie.

    Reply
  19. PJT

    You will always hold her in your heart and hand and in the daily goodness you provide to others and yourself. Keep the faith that you’ll still be together in a different, more cerebral way. And always, always keep laughing out loud when you think of the silly things and fun trouble you got into when you were young! THAT laughter is the best prayer.
    PS. Sept. 17 is a great day for a bday too…..

    Reply
  20. Chico Sue

    Sending prayers for your cousin Julie’s comfort. It is said that our cousins are our first friends in life, and in your case (and mine)that is definitely true. Losing a dear loved one is especially difficult and you are so wise in having described “grief as having a roadmap of its own”. In this latest journey, I hope you will embrace all the fond memories of your lives together and hold them to your heart while you travel the bumpy road. Sending hugs and love.

    Reply
  21. Susan

    Life’s journeys and loss is always very hard. It seems we are at an age when losses are regular events in our lives. Thinking of you and Julie.

    Reply
  22. Barbara Blizzard

    God be with you as you walk this path.

    Reply
  23. Irene

    Blessings of peace and comfort to you, your entire family and your beloved cousin, Julie, on her birthday.

    Reply
  24. Susan

    In my family, cousins are cousin sisters or brothers. In my case they were my first playmates. My godmother who is 94 is actually my first cousin once removed and has always been one of my best friends. To lose a cousin is devastating. And my heart hurts for you. So cocoa puffs are manna. The food of the gods. Essential

    Reply
  25. jody

    it is so sad to read these words.
    and to read damn you julie for going before me.
    i thought of jesus saying the same.
    my hope sprang.
    maybe dear julie is making paths for you to enjoy together again,
    choosing the very best and perfect for just the two of you.
    the only happy thought my heart could feel.
    two cousins laughing together again.
    she will wait for you.
    sending love mingled with tears for you.
    jody xoxo

    Reply
  26. Ann of Avondale

    Do we ever learn how to say good-bye gracefully? We are human and the pain of loss is real, and we do our best. We experience emotions of, sadness, anger, love, denial, heartache, knowing we are changed. We have been lifted to higher ground, an understanding how fragile life is and we start to think about what really matters in life. The only consolation is that a beautiful place awaits where there is no illness, no tears, no sadness. And ultimately we are grateful we had these wonderful people in our life and we reminisce how they enriched our life. Hugs, Corey.

    Reply
  27. Donna Boucher

    My heart aches for you and Julie and those who love her so.
    I think we will cling to life a little less tightly as we continue to have to say “good-bye for now” to our beloveds. As Eddie Vedder sings…see you on the other side.
    Love to you

    Reply

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