What makes a person French?
What makes a person an American?
Is it because of birth in that country?
I was born in the USA and lived there for 29 years. I have now lived in France for 35 years. I became French a few years ago, so I am Franco-American.
When I first came to France, I spoke maybe five words of French. Back then, most French people I met did not speak English. It was torturous going to the grocery store, getting a haircut, or at a dinner party; living in France with only five French words in my pocket was maddening. It was hard to fit in without speaking the language. Immediately, I understood what it was like to be a foreigner and how one can be perceived without speaking the native language.
It was only natural that I should speak French as I was living in France. Learning a new language, especially later in life, was a challenge. It was as if I was climbing Mount Everest in sneakers.
When going to a shop, I would ask if they spoke English, and I would receive a firm, « Non. » the first words I learned had to do with food. I carried a pocket-size dictionary because buying sour milk and not cream does not taste the same with tea.
Over time, with trial and error, tears in patience, I began to speak and be understood. Not perfectly, but well enough. And then a shift came into place; the French began to speak English to me the minute I spurted a French word.
Years ago, I would have kissed their feet and hugged their faces. I would’ve talked 1 million words a minute to have a conversation in English. But now, I continue to speak in French, refusing to speak in English unless their English is superior to my French. The challenge of Mount Everest taught me endurance, I am not on the top and never will be, but I am not surrendering now. Maybe pride is in my way?
Yes, I have an enormous accent.
Does an accent dictate that you don’t belong?
I am often asked, » Where are you from?« and it usually continues that I am not a tourist, that I have an accent “comme meme,” and do I like living here?
The simple answer is I was born in California. But it never is that simple; thirty minutes later, the person knows my entire history that I am an American living in France bla bla blah.
I am a curiosity.
As Sting sings, “Be yourself no matter what they say. Oh, I am an alien; I am a legal alien.”
In a time when refugees and immigrants are in the world’s conversation, it is a poignant question. Nationality, citizenship, birthright, economics, protection, fear…
It is all wrapped in a lump.
Language can define us, as well as customs and our color, which can be an uneven judge.
At the brocante, I asked how much for the French flag. The dealer said, « I cannot sell it to you because you’re not French, and the flag has to remain in France. » I smiled and said, « I live here and am French. » And before he could say, «But you have an accent. » I answered, “I have an accent; isn’t it charming and deceiving?”
He sold me the flag.
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