The differences between France and America are subtle. Take Mums and pumpkins, for example.
Mums, a fall flower arrives in force in October. They spill out from the French floral shops onto the streets, creating a parade of magnificent colors. Just as pumpkins shout out Autumn in America, Mums are the flower that says Autumn is here in France. Pumpkins are food in France and the States; pumpkins are more for decoration, a Halloween Jack-o-Lantern.
When invited to a dinner party, it is a thoughtful/expected gesture to bring something to the hostess. Candy, wine, or flowers is the typical avenue.
FLASHBACK 1988… I thought, why not get a Mum's plant? And bought one that seemed to be a perfect ball of gold. When we entered the home, the hostess gave me the oddest expression. Her head leaned back, her eyes widened, and her lips tried to smile as words came out. But as I didn't speak French, I imagined she said, Thank you, plus some other nicety.
Yann never clued me into how things were in France. He left me to my constant faux pas and reality checks alone.
When I came home, I asked French Husband what was up with the odd hostess' expression he told me it had to do with the flowers I gave, "…it is a plant that symbolized All Soul's Day because: "It is the flower we take to the graveside of those we love who have gone before us. Mums are not a flower to give to "the living" in France."
"Oh, great, now you tell me! Add that flower to France's list of do's and don'ts." It is a wonder I didn't bop Yann that evening. I added, "Seriously, didn't you see me carrying that plant into the hostess's house?"
"Yes, but it was so pretty, and you looked so happy."
I wondered about him as I shook my head… mind you, he was 24, and as time went on, I came to see that as the reason for his letting me be instead of teaching me the ways of the land I called home.
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